The Tale of Two Immortals

Santa and a Vampire: By Kyra Undercoffer (copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved)

He had just finished off the tiny, perfect wife. She was deep asleep after too many Christmas Eve drinks; to him socialites only tasted good after a few stiff drinks. Her spoiled brats were tucked away in their beds by their nanny. He then left the massive master bedroom heading for the office. Apparently, the wife had made a fool of herself at the county club’s annual Christmas party, and it induced quite a spectacular fight between her and the husband. Because of the fight and the embarrassing behavior of the wife, the husband had adjourned to the office to drink away his shame.

Just a few feet from the office door and the loudly snoring husband, a strange noise came from downstairs. A person could not have heard the quiet shuffle and thuds from the lower floor, but he could. Curious about the noises, he quietly snuck downstairs to see what was shuffling about at such an hour.

After reaching the bottom stair of the spiral staircase, he walked through room after room following the small sounds. To his shock he found what was making the noise. The rich family had hired a fat man in a faux beard and red Santa suit to place the presents under their massive fifteen foot tree. He wondered how they could have trusted a stranger to their very expensive appearing gifts, and the key to their house.

“Merry Christmas, Trent Wright.” The fat man in the red velvet suit said, “Why don’t you come out of the shadows and speak with me?”

“How in the world did the make-believe Santa Clause know who I was?” He thought to himself, “More importantly, how did the Santa Clause look alike know he was lurking in the same room as him?”

“Ho, ho, ho!” The fat man laughed, and said, “I am sure you are wondering how I knew you were there. Well, Trent, I know everything about you. Do you not see that I am Santa Claus? You have been a very naughty boy for the last few centuries.”

“If you were really Santa Claus why would you bring presents to the spoiled refuse living in the house?” He questioned the fat man pulling yet another impossibly large gift out of the red pull string bag.

“Even people that seem naughty deserve to believe in the spirit Christmas.” Santa said, “Even you, Trent.”

“So, assuming, you truly are Santa Claus, why have I not received a gift or Christmas spirit from you in the last 357 years?” he asked him sarcastically. “Well, even I cannot track down every wandering vampire, and you have been especially difficult to track.” Santa said, “For the last fifteen years I thought I would find you at one of the mansions you attacked on Christmas Eve. However, you always finish eating the families and sneak out before I can get down the chimney.”

“If you really are Santa Claus where is your sleigh?” He asked Santa as he pulled the last present out of the bag, placed it under the tree, pulled the strings of the bag closed and threw the sack over his shoulder. He walked over to the ostentatious fireplace, grabbed a cookie off a plate on the mantle, took a bite and set it next to the untouched glass of milk.

“Well, Trent if you would like to see my sleigh come with me up to the roof.” Santa said as he bent down slightly and walked under the mantle of the fireplace.

“This is just ridiculous.” Trent thought to himself, “As soon as this fool stops playing around, I am going to kill him. I do not care how he knows my name and some of my history. I am tired of him making a fool of me.”

“Ho, Ho, ho!” Santa said as his body seamlessly slipped up the chimney. Trent thought it looked much like what a child skidding across a Slip’n’slide on the television would look like, if the Slip’n’slide could defy gravity.

The shock of what he had just witness had not fully sunk in, but he mindless followed Santa up the chimney. Trent transformed and came out the top of the chimney in the exact form it was made for, smoke. When he shifted back into his body he saw an old fashioned sleigh. At the front of the sleigh there were eight reindeers with harnesses, hooked to each harness was a leashing system that lead back to the sleigh. Every inch of the tether system and all the harnesses were covered in brilliantly shinning jingle bells.

The sudden shock of a booming voice brought him to the face of Santa sitting in his sleigh with ropes in his hand. He said, “Please Trent come with me on my ride tonight. I would like to show you what you have been missing the past three centuries.”

Without realizing Santa had his own form of memorization, Trent climbed into the sleigh and accompanied Santa on his delivery route. He waited patiently as Santa entered each home and as they traveled from country to country.

Finally Santa told him that he was finished and would be heading back to the North Pole. Santa turned to Trent and said, “I have one last gift to give tonight.” He pulled open his bag and pulled out a small, beautifully painted train set. He handed it to Trent.

Trent was awed by the gift. It was the exact thing he had wished for over and over when he was a child but never received. When he was eight years old he realized that his parents could never afford such a gift for him and that was when he stopped believing in Santa Claus.

Santa interrupted Trent’s reminiscing. “I have to take you back down now Trent.” He said.

Trent looked up and saw the peak of light off in the horizon. He turned to Santa and said, “I would like to finish your ride with you.”

“Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer! Now, Prancer, and Vixen! On, Comet! On, Cupid! On, Donder and Blitzen!” Santa bellowed out into the sky, and the light crested over the sleigh. When the sun hit Trent, he gripped the Train set and turned into ash. When all the ash had blown away in the breeze, Santa looked over to the empty seat where Trent had been. Finally, Santa said, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all have a good night!”