Censored: Vampires Do Not Sparkle

Vampires are evil. Sorry all you Summit Entertainment types who own the popular franchise which I daren’t name, but which have the second film of the four part saga due out in November 09. I know you want to clean the idea of Vampire up and sorta make it all nice and pretty like New York did Times Square back in the 1990’s. Yes, it made better touristing, but something was lost too. The connection with history was lost.

But Evil vampires abound in the scripts of movies, and they abound in books, and they abound in the heads of people who hear the word. Vampires aren’t all Angel – (Hi Joss Whedon! Hope you don’t come after me for mentioning the name)-- some of the vampires are Angelous. Evil vampires are part of this website, as they are many others. You can’t sweep history off the pages of all the books. Bring the firemen and light the books on fire if they feature images or ideas that don’t fit your nice little world (Ray Bradbury’s fahrenheit 451).

The censors are currently sweeping the internet, declaring they own “intellectual property rights” to ideas such as “Spar_ly vampires,” & “Vampires are evi.” Vampires are given characteristics by their authors, currently some vampires – I dassant says it masta sah – spar_le. They are forcing products out of marketplaces, such as Café Press and Zazzle, if the products stray too far into the dark areas where vampires really dwell. All because they fear that intellectual freedom, the freedom of discussion, the freedom to hold and state and produce products which make fun of their vested interests, will rob them of some readership and viewership.

Got news for you Summit types. You don’t really own the idea of spar_le. It is a verb in every dictionary printed to date. You don’t own the idea that vampires are evil. And note, I am open to the idea that some vampires aren’t evil. Some are Angel. I figure they vary as widely as people if they exist.

The franchise is based on a series which garners great disdain among the academics in the tower where I dwell (I’m outside in a pup-tent, but you get the point?). In my own opinion about your franchise, Stephanie Meyers did a masterful job of writing to her teenage female audience. She writes their lives, their angst, their desires way better than you all seem to understand. The franchise actually benefits from the free exchange of ideas. Both directions benefit. Females are still waiting for a prince to come and rescue them (spar_le as he does after he gives her a ride through the forest), and Edward – dare I say his name? Is it also owned? – is a great response and well within the genre. And while I might wish the book had better grammatical editing – it really is an entertaining read. I can respect it.

But after having a bunch of products forced out of the public marketplaces because you “own” the “rights” to all vampire ideas, I don’t respect you. Fear you, yeah. All slaves fear their owners. And you types are indeed the owners. You are the censors.

Since I react very very badly to being told I can’t create, hold, and sell products based on ideas that someone wants censored, I am happy to announce that I will be producing and selling my own line of products – products that are as “in your face” as it is possible for a teacher-type to get. The line of buttons is due out in three weeks. Look for it here since you won’t find it elsewhere. Vampires in my world, damn it, do not SPARKLE.